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June 12th, 2009

05:28 pm Bubbling up under the surface. Don't fill yourself up too full child, less you bubble over. Current Mood: distressed

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April 12th, 2009

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March 19th, 2009

07:16 pm - I'm not here... this isn't happening So... As most of you know now, my good friend, and cousin but more like a brother to Dan (and myself as well), has passed away. As much as I'd like to say I'm doing okay, but I'm really not handling it well. It's really fucked up. And quite surreal considering its been pretty much me, Dan, and Annie cleaning up and sorting Keith's place. All things considered though, as far as I can tell everyone seems to be holding up pretty well, but its super hard on everyone. Some of you may know how he died, some don't. Really no one can be for certain since we weren't there at the time. We are convinced that what happened was a very unfortunate, tragic accident. ( Somewhat graphic explaination below, please don't read if you don't want details. ) He passed sometime late Mon. night or early Tues. morning on 3/17. His wishes were to be given a military service with full honors. Also, I believe there will be a wake for family and friends held in his honor sometime in the following weeks. When I know more I will let everyone know. I know everyone is greiving in their own way, not to mention being very supportive and helpful. I want you guys to know it means a lot, and we're very appreciative of everything. For myself, I just kind of want to be a loner in this. Needing space to myself and trying to normalize life again. As Keith would say,"Deal with it punks!" So I'm trying. As far as getting together with people, there are very few people I can talk about this with, so if you want to hang out, expect a whole lot of awkward silence from me. I don't really want hugs or sorrys or anything, they tend to make everything flood back, which unless you like or want to make me cry, is not what I need. Otherwise I'm at a loss for words. We loved him very much, and we'll miss him. Rest in peace Keith. 01/17/1981-03/17/2009 Current Mood: depressed Current Music: Radiohead - How to disappear completely (or song stuck in my head)

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March 17th, 2009

06:49 pm - .................. Damnit damnit damnit damnit damnit damnit damnit. More details when I find out when, why, and I suppose how, though with a gun is kind of obvious. Current Mood: crushed

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February 10th, 2009

03:43 pm - Oh my achin' Sacroiliac! Seriously... I threw out my back at work yesterday. The S.I. joints to be precise. Get me a walker and cane so I can thrash about like an old person. Sheesh. I'm a mess. In other news I've been working out a lot more recently. I'll have to take it easy now though. Doctors orders, though I feel better when I'm moving around a bit more. Otherwise I get real stiff real quick. Yay for pain medication though! It makes me all unnecessarily warm. or maybe it's the gorgeous weather that we've had for the past couple days. Come on. It's 60 degrees outside and It's the beginning of February. Global warming a myth my ass. Then again... it is Indiana weather. I'm fairly used to it. I will say though... if it snows another foot and a half I'm getting out towing chains to drag the stupid college students' cars four blocks down the street because think they can park in the middle of College Ave. when the parking spaces aren't plowed (or plowed well in some instances), or they just can't seem to park in snow. DX Work has been ridiculous lately. I've not been getting very many if any shifts for the past few weeks. And throwing my back out will not help matters. Crap... I still miss my kitty. I've been pretty recluse since it happened. While she was a "pet" she was also my best friend of sorts. So it's kind of hard when people are asking about me getting another kitty. I'm sure I will at some point though and when I am, I'll ask around and see if people need a good home for a kitty or I'll go to the animal shelter. Spring is generally a good time to go, since they get over stocked real fast. Spay and Neuter your pets kids!!! Other than that (once I'm okay'd for exercise) I think Ms. Julia and I will be working out once or twice a week. Dan borrowed a Wii Fit from his boss, and it's actually pretty cool. I think we'll be getting one. The plan is to have one of us work with the Wii Fit, while the other uses the recumbent bike, workout ball, or stretch bands for about 30-45 min. take a break and then switch. Or possibly just go for a long walk. If anyone has any healthy ideas/recipes for snacks or meals it'd be appreciated. Diet restrictions for me and the Julia are pretty much needs to be vegetarian. Julia may eat fish (no shell fish), not sure of other restrictions. Autumn may eat chicken, almonds/peanuts/cashews (no other nuts), does not prefer lentils but will eat in small amounts. If any one else is interested in this kind of work out let me know. I'd like to try and step up my exercising to 4-5 times a week. And it'd be fun to just hang out and chat, or play other games after. Well, see you around kids! *shakes cane* OooohhHHHoooohhhh.... My Sacroiliac!!! Current Mood: indescribable

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November 2nd, 2008

01:05 am - She was a fucking great cat.. Heres to Chloe. Hip Hip MEOW! So, as some of you knew, my kitty was pretty sick. We almost lost her about 3 months ago. She rebounded, but had kidney deterioration, which meant, basically it would get to her someday. She took a turn for the worst this week and stopped eating/drinking, and spit up anything she was given. We put her to sleep this afternoon and buried her in my parents backyard. I love my Chloe very much. She was my baby and will be missed. I'm understandably shaken, and distraught, so I apologize if I avoid the subject further until I can cope with it a bit better. Just thought some of you would like to know. Current Mood: crushed

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July 19th, 2008

12:09 am - so... AWESOME! 0_0;; http://www.drhorrible.com/ And I know you'll all love it! It's made by Joss Whedon (Firefly/Serenity/Buffy/etc...etc.) Stars Neal Patrick Harris (Dougie Houser anyone??), Nathan Fillion, and Felicia Day. I'm excited for the next episode! XD Ok... I'm a dork. but it's super awesome. Go watch! Watch it now!!!! Current Mood: hyper

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April 12th, 2008

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March 19th, 2008

05:51 pm - Gaia Online!

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January 15th, 2008

10:38 am - Tagged by stormtears! - list five habits/quirks/facts about yourself. - tag five people to do the same. 1. I've never had my ears pierced. 2. I am absolutely terrified of ferris wheels and hospitals. 3. I'm stupidly, and utterly addicted to Gaiaonline, but I love the friends I've met there. XP 4. Generally, when I think about anything outside of my current relationship, I feel like a complete fuck-up. 5. I'm totally going to open a massage practice of my own one day, and put a terrarium in it. I tag sonador_hermosa, cheshire_girl, starwarschick22, marzarelo, and insanus_ignis. Current Mood: working

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December 12th, 2007

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December 8th, 2007

05:59 am - I lose at life sometimes.... Well... here I sit. in my pajamas... waiting for sleep to kick in. It's not. So I decided maybe I'd clean a bit and hope my body would just wear itself out.... I might get there... Eventually if I keep doing chores. so it's 6am. I have class at 9... to 5:30. bleh. Should I stay up and possibly just collapse later.. or roll around in bed pretending to sleep for the next 2.5 hours before I have to get back up again get dressed and head to class? I swear... I think drawing the nervous system is nerve racking... maybe that's why I can't sleep. Current Mood: drained

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November 15th, 2007

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September 24th, 2007

12:27 pm - older so I'm older today. not that I wasn't older yesterday, or the day before that, but I'm now an official year older. XP It's supposed to be my golden birthday. so I hope that this year will be super awesome. There's a long story that only one or two people know about, and I'm not sure if any of the people that read this even know. but basically it has something to do with me not making it to age 24. never mind the details, but just know that I'm happier than I was 2 months ago. I've lost 15 lbs. since then too. I'm doing something I love (massage), and totally can't wait until I can do it as a career. I miss old friends. I have a hard time communicating and staying in touch with people. I'm such a hermit that it affects me in a bad way and gives me anxiety when I'm around people I normally would be comfortable with, and even worse around groups of people I don't know. I'm trying to get out of it. So if I haven't talked to you in ages, I'm sorry. It's really hard to meet people with the same interests in B-town. You'd be surprised. Especially since it's a college town. I don't like to drink, or party. I'm very... let's just chill, hang out and talk, watch a movie, or play some board games or something. A small gathering person if you will. 5-6 people. more than that, and I start to freak out. As I realize I have this problem, I'm really really working on it. and have been thinking that a water balloon fight would be really awesome some weekend soon before it gets too cold. it'd have to be a Sunday. Maybe have some pizza involved or something. so for all you who still read this, post a comment. let me know. <3 Current Mood: calm

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June 29th, 2007

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June 11th, 2007

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April 26th, 2007

01:24 am Current Mood: amused

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April 24th, 2007

09:35 pm - so a post. I'm alive. don't expect too much. Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™ Current Mood: contemplative Current Music: how to disappear completely - radiohead orchestral

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December 4th, 2006

08:53 pm I like to cuddle.. WHAT?!? XP

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November 5th, 2006

04:45 pm So I've decided I'm a very horrible horrible person... After hearing about a recent tragedy that befell one of our customers at the bank... There is this very old russian woman, and her sister and husband occasionally come in with her... She is very sweet but dealing with her is very mentally taxing... never knows what she wants and then after you've figured it out for her, she wants something else that you have to figure out. well... I read in the paper.... she backed over her husband with the car and killed him.. It was an accident of course but I laughed. I laughed a lot... it's just too funny. her husband is a very large man... I'm talking like 400 lbs and about 6ft 3in or so. It's sad yes... but for some reason I find the oddest humor in it... therefore I'm a bad bad person. that is all... oh and Julia... don't drink milk directly from a goat and then play basketball dancing like michael jackson... my dreams say so... XP Current Mood: indescribable

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